“God, what is that hair? Soooo yesterday.”
Those aren’t the words of a 15 year old teeny bopper but of Carly Fiorina, California’s GOP Senate candidate. She was recently caught on a live mike trashing the hairdo of her political rival. Apparently we never really grow out of high school slandering.
This made me think of gossip in the work place, because I know Ms. Fiorina isn’t alone in offering up an office trash talk or two. Whispers can be heard at large firms and small start-ups, amongst young professionals and top management – and large political figures. Chatter can center on bosses and coworkers, policy agenda and company culture. It can be one snarky comment or a weekly conversation amongst colleagues.
But why is gossip – amongst grown adults in the professional world – such a staple?
From my experience, gossip seems to build a sort of camaraderie. I’ve seen coworker bonds grow closer over the dislike of a particular person or policy. After all, what’s better than someone else validating your point of view? Sometimes it’s just as simple as wanting to make a catty comment. Have you ever had a situation irk you so much you just had to relay the experience to someone else so they could feel your pain?
However, not partaking in office gossip can seemingly backfire too. I have a friend that once overheard office gossip about herself, in which the group was gossiping about the fact she didn’t gossip. (Sounds very Seinfeld-esque to me.) It seemed the group felt my friend wasn’t a group ally because she didn’t partake in their daily boss bashings. She was excommunicated from group lunches because of it.
So are you damned if you do and damned if you don’t? Building relationships and bonds under the guise of gossip seems to characterize yourself as a colleague that can’t be trusted. Rising above the gossip and refusing to participate could paint you as a corrupter of group cohesion.
As a young professional establishing a reputation, I believe it’s best to risk the latter. Though bonds with gossiping coworkers may be established in the short-term, your long-term career goals could suffer. Would you want to hire someone known for a flaming tongue? Yeah, I don’t think any future employers would either.
Of course, in the heat of the conversation, your anti-gossiping skills will be tested. Stay strong, Future Gurus. We’ve got our reputations to uphold! I bet Ms. Fiorina would agree.
What are some of your experiences with office gossip? What outcomes have you seen?
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Love. It.
ReplyDeleteYou are right on track with your evaluation of the "Gossip Connection". To partake in this office ritual puts you at the lowest levels of humanity (OK, maybe that's a little dramatic, but still...). And, by not participating, you risk be exiled by the rest of the office (yeah, I know...). So what do you do?
Personally, I turn the music up in my office and stay focused on what's in front of me when the gossip hits the air. I am almost always the last person in my office to know any of the dirt about anyone... And I couldn't care less.
When something really starts to bother me to the point that I want to go and bad-mouth that person, I first talk with a co-worker to gauge if my perception is correct or if I am missing something, then try to address the issue head-on. I say 'try' because it's much easier said than done.
Take heart, young Future Guru... Older Future Gurus have to deal with this BS, too... And No One has 'the' answer.
Thanks for the comments Brian!
ReplyDeleteI really like your suggestion to take a step back and gauge perception. We can all get caught up in the frustration of a situation, and taking a second to re-evaluate is always wise. Great advice!